If I read one more article that goes “The way to have a great relationship is to not lie, say I love you and not cheat”, I’M GONNA LOOSE MY MINDDDDDDD!!! How is that valuable advice seriously?!! How about adding some value we don’t necessarily know! I believe that amazingly great relationships do exist!
EUHHHHHH Prince charming? I’m not talking about you so you can sit back down! :p haha Disney movies have shown us this story over and over again:
PRINCE MEETS GIRL, FALL IN LOVE, HE RESCUES HER, THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Yeah but not quite!!!
It’s more like:
PRINCE MEETS GIRL, FALL IN LOVE, THEY BOTH WORKKKKKKK AT THE ULTIMATE RELATIONSHIP AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!
Here… I want to introduce you to the real… platinum kind of bond. Yes it needs a bit more work than your regular relationship but it will nourish your soulllllllll!!!! Da daaaaaaaaa!!! Friend? Ready? Let’s goooooooooo….
Before we jump into the gravy haha, Lets look at the…
5 Types of relationships
I believe there are 5 different kinds of romantic relationships. Most will fall into the first 4 categories…
1-You have your mediocre ones, where you need to break free because you spit venom at each otherrrrrrr. Yeah!!! NOT GOOD! There might be some kind of abuse involved or cheating. It just breaks you in half. OMGGGGG these are the worst. They kill your self esteem and make you sad. They make you feel broken and make you feel like you are hard to love. They break your heart!
2-You have your bad relationship where you stay because you are afraid to start again. It doesn’t elevate you at all. You don’t have a real bond. It’s more negative and you might stay because starting over is scary. But it doesn’t nourish your soul. Many people in these kinds of relationship will report feeling lonely even in the presence of their partner.
3-Then You have your comfortable relationship where you probably live like roommates. You are a team, pay the bills together and might still be together just for the kids. There is no real passion here, no spark. Just together because it is easier than being apart. No war, but also no fireworks.
4-You have your ok relationship, its ok but not great. You are pretty happy considering all the divorces happening around you. It’s stable, you go away twice a year, not many fights. Its ok. You’re not head over heals but happy enough to stay.
5-And then….. then my friend… you have something GRAND! You have the platinum. The gold. The fireworks. The grandest. The ultimate experience of body, soul, emotion, goals and passion. The realest bond.
That kind of relationship brings out the best in you and challenges you to become over the top as an individual!!! Its a place where each of you grow and thrive! That relationship… is deep. You feel like you found home in that person. People sense it when they pass you by. You look at the other person as if they are magic! It’s special! It’s awesome! Of course you have your problems like all relationships do, but you know how to solve them because you live in respect and growth. You know how to talk to each other and how to love each other right. You communicate. You have amazing conversations, you push each other to go further in your lives and it truly feels like without that missing piece, you wouldn’t be where you are today. You might tell each other harsh things, but all you do is in the name of love. That relationship is sacred, it is a place where you heal each other and give your best self to the other. There’s admiration that lives in that union! Appreciation! No matter how long you are together, you both work on making this the ultimate experience!! But don’t be fooled, if you are looking for the platinum, you will have to work for it!
The real problem is that all we see on TV or read in magazines is pure mediocrity! We don’t have many role models like this to strategize from! I personally have met only 2 couples like this in MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! It’s truly a special bond.
I like the metaphor Anthony Ronbbins uses about a nice guy loosing his wife:
She leaves him for another guy. Do you know why she does that? Because Being nice or ok is not enoughhhhhhhhhh!!!! I am in no way saying she is right by leaving don’t get me wrong, but people do not act according to logic !!! They act according to emotions and how they feel. We want to live amazing things as human beings. But we need to work for it! We need to work at keeping the flame alive! Amazing relationships do exist and if you don’t believe me, maybe you should change your belief about it by researching great couples on google. If you do not believe it is possible, it won’t happen to you.
Here i’m gonna give you value! Things that will really add value to your relationship or give you a great foundation for your future one!
1- Talk to your other half about having an ultimate relationship
Not everyone is motivated to live a great life. Not everyone is ready to change the status quo. I suggest you talk to your other half because if you roam alone darling, you will go around in circle!!!! You will end up feeling dizzy and going nowhere! Make sure you’re on the same page as your partner. Or, if you embark on a new relationship, talk to that person about having an ultimate relationship. Sometimes, we just lack communication. Just by communicating what you want, you will be amazed at what can happen!
2- Ask your lover how they feel loved.
hahaha !!! YES!!! Weird I know but listen to this: We tend to think that everyone feels love like we do. For example, you might feel your bf loves you when he says I love you but he’s showing his love by giving you a certain look. Each of us is different. By knowing what your other half needs, you can fulfill that need everyday! I never tought about it until I heard this in Anthony Robbins video!! Some people are visual, they need a look. Some are kinaesthetic, they need to be touched, some need to hear it… We tend to take the details for granted but friend, you will be surprised by people’s answers when you ask You will finally be able to give them what they need!!!
3- Talk about your triggers.
Yes! You know when you just say something to someone and they totally loose their mind screaming and being mad and you’re like whatttttttttttt THE HELL JUST HAPPENED????? YES! That’s because we react in life emotionally due to our past and not logically. For example, if your gf’s mom was distant to her emotionally when she was growing up, her trigger might be about feeling abandoned. She might be extra sensitive when someone is distant. By knowing each other’s triggers, you can avoid them by knowing what will make the other sensitive. We all have a past! Some are harder than others. By knowing each other’s trigger, you will communicate in a healing manner and you won’t believeeeeeee the problems you’ll avoid.
4- Look at your relationship like it’s a sacred place for love and giving
We all have metaphors we live by. If we think a relationship will hurt or that love is war, then you will get just that : WAR! Look at the union as a safe place. You both must agree on that of course. And if you see this as a place for love and giving, when your partner messes up, you will be less tempted to take the mess as personal. You will know it was not to hurt you personally. Go in that union to give. BOTH must be in sync here. A place for trust, love, healing and growth is a great metaphor for a great relationship.
5- Make an effort EVERYDAY
Yes!!! Make it a ritual like brushing your teeth everyday: MAKE YOUR PARTNER SPECIAL! Shower them with love and words and looks and touches… Make an effort everyday to make your other half feel loved and appreciated. No matter how long you’ve been together!!! If you take the other person for granted, you will put sand on the flames. Notice him or her. Look at them. And remember this: “Whatever is old to you is new to the next guy”… ahhhhhhhh What a great and true concept!
6- Hold hands, touch
Touching each other is very important. Notice the other person’s haircut or new shirt. Just a little touch or attention can make you connect. When you’re driving, hold his/her hand when they are sitting next to you. Or when you’re eating, feed them a spoonful! Be playful and celebrate them! If I can give you the best piece of advice that is true for 99.9999999% of people, this would be it: People like to feel special!!! So Make them feel special. Always.
7- Say it like it is
If you need to talk truth, say it. My biggest source of change in my life has been from a boyfriend that wasn’t afraid to tell me when I was being messed up! It came from a good place and I made grand changes in my life because of his help! He would come up to me and go “Nadia…. This really sucks ok!!!! This and this needs to be looked at…” I might have been angry on the spot, but after thinking about it, he showed me some parts of myself I needed to deal with!
8- Everyday, take minimum 30 minutes to truly connect
EVERYTHING IS GOING SO FAST NOWADAYS!!! pffffff even videos longer than 10 seconds can’t maintain our attention ! Emails, Facebook posts, cell phones ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Fast fast fast and faster!!! SO SLOW IT DOWNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! You miss out so much when all is going too fast!!! You need to slow down for Your relationship in order to nurture it. It deserves at least 30 minutes a day of deep connection. No phone, no TV, just being with each other. Listen to your partner. Really listen. Connect with their soul. Laugh or just hug each other while laying down. Make your connection fun: for example feed him/her while they are taking their shower haha :p
9- Accept the other person’s human nature
It’s so damn easy for us to point fingers when someone is not so perfect!!! But we are all far from perfect. When we expect the other person to be 100% perfect with no flaw, we focus on the negative and this can kill a bond faster than you can say I love you!!!! Be the kind of person who celebrates your partner instead of criticizing all the time!!! So let go of the perfect syndrome and just accept that people are not supposed to be perfect.
10- Know the nature of men and women
Biggest mistake is to be with a creature you know nothing about! Read the book women are from mars, men are from venus. The best 20 bucks you’ll ever spend! How can you be the best partner to a mann if you know nothing about who they are! Simply put, women are creatures of emotions and men of solutions. All and all, mennnnnn…. you need to stir the emotions of your woman to keep her flame high! Daily! Tell her you love her, show her, kiss her!!! and womennnnnnnn, admire and appreciate your man for all that he is! Tell him, show him everyday! Watch the magic unfold!
So now gooooo and create the most amazing relationship you ever dreamed of!!!
Hope you enjoyed this post friend !!
Share your experience, write a comment or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
‘’ Never ever fear. Never ever stop. Never ever be forgotten. Be Bold. Be Fearless. Be Unstoppable. Be unreasonable. Be Real. Be you.’’ -Nadia Farag