Song by Heart of Courage by Two Steps from Hell
Written and Read by Nadia Farag
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I truly believe, given my experience, that the minute you let go of what you think you should be and embrace who you truly are without any apologies, that’s when you find yourself and find true happiness. And that’s when you are at your most attractive point.
Lets start with a few concepts before we dive in…
I’m a huge fan of the truth. And they say the truth will set you free! There are 2 concepts I would like you to meditate on:
1- you must realize that no matter how great and amazing you are, not everyone will like you.
Not everyone will see it. And not everyone will connect to it. No matter how beautiful you are, how much money you have, how funny you are, not everyone will like you for it. You might be too short or too tall for some. Your sense of humour will be funny to this guy and not to that one. You shyness will be endearing to one and annoy another. All in all, you can never win 100% in pleasing others.
2- No matter what you are, you are good enough. Let me say that again: No matter what and who you are at your core, YOU…you are enough!
If you are truly funny or you never cracked a joke in your life: you are enough. If you’re fit and skinny or if you are 40 pounds overweight: you are enough. You are enough, you are enough, you are enough! If that makes you feel uncomfortable, say it over and over again and drill this inside your brain because it is the truth.
Have you ever been rejected or rejected someone? Hurts doesn’t it? I’m sorry to burst your bubble dear, but your rejection did not affect the value of that person one bit! Think back of someone you let go or you rejected. did your rejection affect the truth of that person? Their value in the world? Hell no! You might even go down the road and think “Holy cow… he/she was really great what the hell was I thinking?” So , feeling crushed and feeling not worthy because 1 person doesn’t return your feelings makes you…. self entitled and completely dramatic!!! haha I’m just trying to make you snap out of the self defeating loop of thinking that your outside world defines you. IT doesn’t. You define you. period. No matter what happens outside yourself, always know that your true self is not only good enough, its freaken great. And just because someone doesn’t see it? doesn’t mean Someone else won’t. Someone will I promise: and in a big way!
So this brings me to the core message of this post: Wether you fake and pretend to be someone you’re not, or if you embrace and show the world the real you: the end result is the same: you will still have people that reject you for it!!
Since you will never gain everyone’s approval anyway, might as well be the real you and let that person shine! As much as you think the fake you is way better, I promise you that the real you is where the gold is. That’s where you shine at your brightest. And that’s where you meet quality people that will likely stay in your life forever.
Let me give you a recent example of mine:
I love being on stage. I love being grand and flamboyant. I used to fantasize about it when i was young. Even though public speaking was my greatest fear, i ended up with a carrier that involves public speaking 4 days a week! yeah, i know! Biggest mountain I had to climb but oh the rewards! I always shine on stage. always. like clock work. I always give my best to entertain wether in front of a group of 2 or 200! I choose my clothes wisely, prepare my entrance, every gesture and tone of voice. I get butterflies thinking how awesome i will perform. Just giving the best of me!
There was a huge discrepancy when I was OFF STAGE
I always said to others and to myself that I was a huge introvert. And that is true on some level but i think subconsciously, I called myself an introvert to protect myself. This title would explain my shyness and lack of self confidence when i was younger. By claiming introvert, i could avoid the responsibility of working towards becoming more outgoing. The vulnerability and the risk of bruising my ego it would take of me to start affirming myself and become the leader I truly was felt too scary to me. And so i stayed in my shell by claiming introvert.
But a funny thing happened, the more and more I rocked the stage, the more and more i felt like a fraud off stage. I started to feel I was faking my introverted side and that i was not all that introverted after all. If i was somewhere outside of a work setting where I didn’t know people, I was more on the shy side. But if i met new clients at work, I was so good that I had the power of influence, I would even close sales at almost 90% ratio! I would just walk in and make an impression. And if you saw me in front of a crowd?! I owned the room. Like people would come talk to me after and say omgggggggg this was great !!!!! Then they add me on FB and they next time they see me it was full embrace and just wow. but …. as funny as it sounds, the superstar at work was reduced to a wounded little kitten in a setting outside work.
Until recently of course… because, my high in life is to better myself so I ate that cookie right up!! Crazy right? I would be so scared to steal the spotlight sometimes. A little worried of what people might think, like “who does she think she is”. And so, I played small. This quote is great to explain this:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I played small in fear of offending others. I know my capacity to shine: I’ve seen it with my own eyes! I’ve had people ask me how I do it. I’m so great at connecting with people. Im great with making an entrance and telling funny stories. I’m great at using my tone of voice and staring at a crowd. So great in fact that I guess it scared me to bring this into my personal world and lose people for it. This is not me being cocky, This is me knowing myself. I have many faults but this happens to be one of my assets.
And so, I decided that instead of saying “Im an introvert”, I decided to claim my nature: I LOVE being an entertainer! I love the energy I give to people and this is the most heard compliment people tell me in every setting recently. They say “Nadia, your energy is one of a kind. Your passion was incredible. Im wired. Im pumped!”
The underlying beliefs
Behind every realizations i have, there’s work. There’s a perception somewhere that I need to change and actions I need to take to go with the new perception. When you hide what you are at your core, this could be a little difficult to discover, but there always lies a few beliefs that you think are true that are really holding you back. Let me show you with our example above:
Situation: Me thinking I shouldn’t shine so bright off stage :
Belief 1: Maybe people will think that I take too much place. That i’m being cocky and that i’m too much.
Belief 2: Maybe they won’t like me, resent me or hate me because of it.
Belief 3: Stay in the shade Nad, you are safer here.
Those beliefs are bullshit and we learned bullshit beliefs way back when. These beliefs made me a people pleaser at times, made me stay quiet, say “i don’t mind” way too often and be fake nice at other times. bad bad bad.
Now that i found out what the old beliefs were, I can readjust them to better fit my life. They hold truth. Here are the new beliefs that are supporting the change;
New Belief 1- Wether I shine out or stay reserved in, some people will like me for it and some won’t. Either way, not everyone will like me.
New Belief 2- I really don’t care who likes me and who does’nt because I like me. And that’s all i need!
New Belief 3- You are safer shining out because you risk meeting the right people that connect with your light. I rather be hated by 10 and liked by 1 for being myself than hated by 1 and liked by 10 for being a fake version of me.
Do you see how empowering beliefs can be? Now i own itttttt!!! I own you! I own all of it!!!! haha
People who see your magic
Let who you are shine without apologies. That’s sexy. That’s beauty. Own yourself. Maya Angelou, a famous poet, writer, singer, dancer…. you name it: she did it! Not a magazine kind of pretty woman but Ohhhhhh the charisma!!!! She had people crawling after her because she owned herself and she never cared of what others thought or said. They said she was too ugly and tall to dance… not only did she make a career of it: she freaken started singing on stage! She shined her light without apologies and while some crushed her for it, the quality of the people that followed her was incredible. They saw her magic too and she surrounded herself with these people.
Il’l leave you with a little advice from my heart to yours;
Start today to shine instead of playing small. If you’re wise, you’ll marry someone that will see your magic. And if you are lucky, you will be blessed with a family that sees your magic. And if you are courageous, you will choose friends who see your magic.
…And if you are wise, lucky and courageous, you will work on you to discover and claim your own magic…
Thanks for reading Friend 🙂
Nadia Farag xxx
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‘’ Never ever fear. Never ever stop. Never ever be forgotten. Be Bold. Be Fearless. Be Unstoppable. Be unreasonable. Be Real. Be you.’’ -Nadia Farag