I was just watching the TV series “This is us” and I came across a passage that really touched me. It’s when this girl asks William (who is dying of stomach cancer) “What is it like to be dying?”
I got all worked up by his answer and I started to reminisce in my own life. It reminded me of something I forgot. When I was diagnosed with cancer, many people asked me what it felt like to maybe be dying. The most predominant feeling I had was to cherish what truly mattered, the little stuff. the things in life that were free. And at the same time, how the surface stuff really didn’t mean a thing. The looks, the clothes, the fights… all of it was useless at the face of death. And i remember looking around me and getting so mad at how most people lived so superficially. I remember feeling like i just got awakened but the whole world around me stayed asleep in a stupid daze of unimportant stuff.
I would only connect with a few people and all of them, all of them had either passed through something so terrible or had lost someone they love. It was like our priorities became clear at the face of a huge precipice. All the garbage we had learned in our life, from society or people around us just melted away and the only thing remaining was the truth. The simple, clear truth.
And it got me thinking about depth. There is still a problem though: You might go through a near death experience like sickness or a huge accident that leaves you bedridden for months… but your surroundings have’nt. So how can you close your eyes once they have been opened? You can’t. That’s it! You just can’t! This concept makes me smile today while all my life it made me cry. I now understand that one must find and connect with people like his own. I cannot connect deeply with people who do not understand the fragility of life or who decide to keep a blind eye on our mortality. This kind of experience breeds a different kind of soul. And souls that vibe together, need each other to bond.
Here is a man on the show that led a pretty crappy pitiful life full of drugs and bad decision after bad decision. But at the face of death, he has this depth and gigantic wisdom that I could compare to the Dalai Lama. He was changed instantly. It reminded me of my own transformation when I was sick and got reminded of it. Death. It cleans us from all the crappy useless things we believe. Some dying folks reported that the minutes before dying were incredibly peaceful and freeing. No more pain. No more unimportant garbage. Only peace. Maybe this was our blessing to be diagnosed with cancer, or survived an accident.
I think the goal is to meet people that are blessed with such wisdom at a younger age and no longer look to change people that do not understand life at such a deep level. No matter when the time comes, we will all surely arrive at our death. But I think the truly lucky ones, are faced with death before they actually die. Because they get to live a second life that has more meaning. They get a second chance to make things right. No one can truly understand this unless you have been there. What seems like a curse is sometimes a gift in disguised.
I’ll leave you will what William answered. It was truly beautiful (I Had to grab the kleenex box) lol
“What does it feel like to be dying?”
” It feels like all the beautiful pieces of life is flying around me and i’m trying to catch them. I try to catch the feeling…, catch the sound…
But the pieces are moving faster now and I can’t quite catch them all. I can feel them slipping through my fingertips. And soon, where there was those feelings… and sounds…, there will be nothing.
I know it feels like you have all the time in the world but you don’t. So stop playing it so cool. Catch the moments of your life. Catch them while you’re young and quick because sooner than you know it, you’ll be old and slow… and their’ll be none of them left…”
I love it 🙂
Thanks for reading friend!
Nadia Farag xxx
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‘’ Never ever fear. Never ever stop. Never ever be forgotten. Be Bold. Be Fearless. Be Unstoppable. Be unreasonable. Be Real. Be you.’’ -Nadia