First off, let me say that I was pretty active on Facebook. I was always checking it and updating it every chance I got. It almost became an addiction! (Actually, in retrospect, I’m sure it was!) I decided to close my account a year ago and it ended up being a very enlightening experience! I recommend this to anyone! For a few months at least. I am not saying that Facebook is wrong. I am just saying that awareness is the master of intelligence. Do you dare taking on this challenge?
After cutting off from Facebook cold turkey (thought I would need a Facebook patch for this one),
Here is what I realized:
#1 Thing I realized getting off Facebook: People ONLY posts what they want you to see!
Yes yes! That was a shocker for me to realize! What you see is NOT what you get on Facebook. Its more like What you see is well…. painted in pink, fuchsia and a hint of rose! Facebook is not reality, it’s a fantasy world. People show you what they wanna project. Period! And funny thing about human beings and projection is that we tend to believe what is projected in front of us! Don’t be fooled by perception. If someone looks nice, we automatically think that they are. If someone drives a BMW, we automatically think that they are rich. If someone smiles, we automatically think they are happy. If a couple is hugging we automatically think they have it figured out. If someone shows that they are happy with their huge income, we automatically believe that getting more money will bring happiness in our lives. Truth is, happiness and all good things come from within! No amount of cars or jewelry will make up for it. Don’t get me wrong, cars and jewelry are awesome, I’m a huge fan! But to truly enjoy all those things you must find happiness within yourself first!!
Perception is not the whole truth. And to be honest, the people who feel the need to flaunt their amazing lives are usually the ones who feel they are falling short and need to show the world how awesome they are! (Guilty as charged in my Facebook days. I am now blushing a deep shade of pink!). So yes, maybe your mind comprehends that people posts what they want you to see, but your subconscious might be telling you that they are doing better than you! Ah tricky tricky minds of ours!
Reality is, people will never post a pic on a bad hair day! And pictures? Ah! Well they post the best ones out of 100 takes. So yes, it is pretty normal that everyone looks totally freaken awesome! So the girl that is smiling might be going through a hard time, the guy in the BMW might be struggling to make ends meet, the couple hugging and travelling together might be not sleeping together anymore! All I’m saying is, don’t believe everything you see or hear!
I would never flaunt my mistakes or declare that I was having a meltdown on a monday afternoon at 3 pm on Facebook! Oh no no no no! However, I would post every nooks and cranny and corners of my trips to the Cayman Island, the crazy parties in Miami and the nights we looked awesome in our cool outfits! Truth is, people will post what they want you to see. That’s cool but if you start feeling inadequate or that you are falling short, then that’s where it starts becoming a problem!
When you see pics of people on vacation, starting successful businesses, touching the pope, showing their new expensive cars or having the picture perfect relationship, it is just that; A PICTURE! Nothing is perfect in life even if it looks that way! Remember the saying “If something looks too good to be true it probably is!” Ok friend, it’s time for you to print this in your mind!!!
Don’t get caught up with the illusion that everyone else’s grass looks greener. Facebook is fun and entertaining, but don’t take it to be the truth. It’s all fun, beauty and successes compiled, everything ugly and difficult is trimmed off. Every depression episode, every low self-esteem or self-loathing tantrum, every pimple, every humiliation, every rejection, every bad hair day, every tear, every bad interview, every boring evening, every loss of employment, every fight is not posted on there! Get it?! Got it?! Good!
YOU ARE JUST AS EXCITING AS THE GUY POSTING PICS WITH PLAYBOY PLAYMATES OR THE GIRL DOING TEQUILA SHOTS OFF OF PK SUBBAN’S CHEST! YOU ARE JUST AS EXCITING I PROMISE
#2 Thing I realized getting off Facebook; The time spent on Facebook could be used instead to read a life changing book or start your own business…or a blog (wink wink)!
Life is about maximizing your time and living every moment to the max. It’s about productivity. Time is your most valuable asset and resource ever given to you. And most people are wasting it by looking at people’s pictures or reading people’s statuses about what they ate or about the weather! SERIOUSLY? Why not put that precious time to good use! Start a blog, read a book, listen to inspirational stuff, connect with God, meditate, go on an adventure. Do something! Anything! Do whatever! Imagine if you used that daily time you spend on Facebook on something creative for your future. Most people do things to gain short term gratification, feeling good in the moment instead of doing something colossal for the future. Make it a habit of asking yourself if a particular activity is contributing to your personal growth and your future. Spend that time selling your old stuff on eBay and make some cash out of it! Just do something for YOU instead of frying your brain with useless stuff!!
#3 Thing I realized getting off Facebook: Facebook can make you feel that something is wrong with you. You feel alienated or somewhat inadequate.
Again, life is full of struggle and that is true for everyone. No one is immune to that. No one! Facebook is a place to flaunt your best pictures, your best vacation, your best everything! So yes, the chick who looks like a freaken porcelain photoshopped model from the cover of vogue still wakes up looking a little scary in the morning and thinking she ain’t pretty enough. And the guy who looks like a waxed bodybuilder driving a Ferrari still secretly feels he doesn’t measure up or is super stressed at work! Nothing is wrong with you. People have problems! This is a fact. Its a collective thing we all share.
Life is not always go go go! Truth is, its ok to have “normal” days.
#4 Thing I realized getting off Facebook: Cheating goes beyond the physical;
Yes yes! Much debate here. A lot more couples are breaking up because of Facebook. I get that. To me, cheating means you are not holding your part of the bargain. That means you are crossing some kind of boundary. Words typed can do as much damage and be as painful as someone in your bed. So be careful, because it is easier to rationalize with oneself into thinking that it’s ok and that it’s not cheating. To me, giving someone a compliment is ok. But to say “damn you have no idea what i would do to you if i could” is a mild form of cheating. Anything that disrespects your partner or that you wouldn’t like done to you is wrong. Period.
Facebook makes it easier to cross limits because you are in front of a screen. I am guilty of that too. We sometimes do something and because we know that we wouldn’t act on it, that makes it ok. But to me, if that knowledge would hurt my partner, then it shouldn’t be happening.
A good advice is to establish those boundaries with your partner in advance… you know… just saying!
#5 Thing I realized getting off Facebook is that the written word on Facebook is DEAD!
I truly believe that if a person is truly interested in you, they might use Facebook to connect with you but they will take it to the next level and fast. Many people like to waste time chatting with tons of people, but the person who truly wanna develop a friendship or a relationship with you will ask for you number, call you or meet up with you. It’s about not wasting your time with loser people! It’s easy to talk romance on a screen but things need to happen. Actions speak louder than words! I don’t know about you but i personally prefer to have a few substantial relationships in my life then tons of fake ones.
#6 Thing I realized getting off Facebook: People who really care about you will reach you on your cell phone.
When i first closed my Facebook account, i was a little worried to lose contact with people. And then I realized that the real friendships were made of people who actually made efforts to exchange numbers and keep in touch. I’ve kept contact with many people.
I did reconnect with my childhood best friends through Facebook years ago. I couldn’t be more grateful! I’ve been seeing them every week for years now, thanks to Facebook. The thing is, they were still around when i closed my Facebook account!
#7 Thing I realized getting off Facebook: In order to keep in touch with people overseas, some apps let you text unlimited and call using Wi-Fi
I never used to use Whatsapp or Viber before. Its awesome! I get to talk to my friends who live all over the globe in a more efficient way… and IT’S FREAKEN FREE!
#8 thing I realized getting off Facebook is that just because most people do something, it doesn’t make it right!
If the masses are going Right, go left: your odds are WAY better!
If most people are on Facebook, you’re better off being off it. At least for a while. Sad thing is most people don’t live right. They watch too much tv, eat too much junk food, work out too little, hate their job, rarely do people live a great life! Go against the grain my friend, your odds are wayyyy better! Not because most people do something that it makes it right! Most people don’t work on their dreams. Is that right? Nope! Most people eat processed food and drink sodas like it’s going out of style. Again, not so right!
#9 Thing I realized getting off Facebook: I am missing nothing by not being on Facebook
That was my fear when i was contemplating closing my account but nope! Nothing happened when I closed it. The world didn’t implode, I didn’t die and my world as I know it didn’t end. That fear of loss is all in your mind! Yeah crazy, I know!
#10 Thing I realized getting off Facebook: I am living in the moment more often
The power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is a great book that talks about living in the moment! And living in the moment is the only good way to live. The past is remembered, the future is imagined. The only real true moment we have and ever truly have is now. Any stimulation numbs you from accessing the now! Tv and all those stimulation apps numbs our mind and our ability to live in the moment. Living the moment entails using your 5 senses and doing things with awareness and presence! So come on, close your phone and go for a walk. I know you want to..
#11 Thing I realized getting off Facebook: The need for personal contact to truly maintain relationships.
The use of Facebook reduces the need to connect deeply with someone. People get lazy to maintain relationships
Real connection need to include the senses. To maintain real and deep relationship, there has to be more than just a screen! You need to touch, to feel, to see, to smell or to hear to truly connect soul to soul! Any combination of those will amplify the connection! This is when you see the true person. A screen is far from being an optimal way to maintain and grow a relationship unless you are seas away! If you see someone and are physically with that person, you then use 3 to 5 senses depending on what you doin’! Wink wink! :))
BONUS #12 PEOPLE’S REACTIONS!
I LOVEEEEEEE SEEING PEOPLE’S REACTION WHEN THEY ASK ME TO ADD THEM ON FACEBOOK AND I GO “OH, I DONT HAVE FACEBOOK”. PRICELESSSSSS!
So, do you think you can do it?
Share your experience, write a comment or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
‘’ Never ever fear. Never ever stop. Never ever be forgotten. Be Bold. Be Fearless. Be Unstoppable. Be unreasonable. Be Real. Be you.’’ -Nadia Farag